Lardathon Days 30-31

It was all going so well until that trip to Jogblog's where I gained two pounds which wasn't good. Somehow she managed to lose two pounds, I reckon she cut some lard off herself and blutacked it to me while I was asleep or something :-(

Anyway - after the aching abs came anaching back yesterday (30th) so I ended up not doing any exercise which was a shame as there was a nice body pump class just waiting to be done. I ended up spending a large chunk of the day flat on my back with a hot water bottle in the small of my back and swallowing ibuprofen like there's no tomorrow.

Today it's loosened a little and I went to the gym to stretch and swim a bit - it was okay for this although I could definitely still feel it. Hopefully it'll be okay for tomorrow morning as I have pump and spin lined up and then a mahoosive pizza feast lined up over at Jogblog's although I shall be scanning the pizza carefully for any olives she might try to add to catch me out ;-)

Lardathon Day 27-29

Day 27 - Friday - and I'm off to Becky's spin class. My legs were still tired from the night before and although Becky's class was easier it was still damn tough with tired legs. Still - stomach bug seems to have gone

Day 28 - Saturday, and it's off to the gym to do a spin class (can you sense a theme her). It would normally be Mel but she was on holiday so someone called Sarah who I'd seen around the gym took it. She's one of the LAPT's so knows lots of stuff and it was a good class, although the continuous track wasn't as much my taste in music as the normal stuff. Then she mentioned an abs class and since she had rather obviously good abs I thought this should be good so went along to see if she could get rid of my lardy bits.

Unfortunately it doesn't quite work like that and that requires abstaining from beer. I do honestly have a fabulous six pack under this lard but it's hidden behind a layer of Stella and 1664.

Anyway - the class, and some weird and wonderful manoeuvres from "abs queen" Sarah which gave the two participants highly achey stomach muscles during the class. Then off for a brief sauna, home for lunch, and off to meet Jogblog for an afternoon of beer and free ice cream.

We met up at Clapham South tube, and walked (or limped in Jogblog's case) to the entrance where we were given passes and entered the arena. It was really good apart from the queues for the free ice cream but after searching them all I went for a coffee buzz buzz. Then I went to the toilet and bumped into an old student of mine from 2000 so we chatted a bit and I lost Jogblog who kept saying she was at a toilet and then walking off to another one in the time I went to meet her but eventually we met up by the beer tent. The music was generally good and I particularly enjoyed "The Feeling" with their vocal harmonies which I always like although the comment about counterpoint was a bit overly poncey.

Day 29 - I wake up with very sore abs and feeling hungry and am typing this while I wait for Jogblog to put on her make-up so that we can go to a greasy spoon for a fry-up but my stomach thinks my throat's been cut so I'm tempted to go downstairs and raid the muesli jar except that Jogblog has probably put a mark on the side so she can tell if I've surreptitiously swiped some in a 3am muesli raid.

Today is going to be a rest day as I've done spin every day for the last four and I ache like buggery. I haven't dared weigh myself after the beer and ice cream yesterday but tomorrow will be no better after a fry-up but I should still lose weight on Lardathon unlike some people I could mention.

UPDATE

The greasy spoon visit was well worthwhile, except that instead of the normal sort of sized plates that you could measure in square inches or whatever they decided to use plates that could be measured in acres or square miles. They were massive! And they were full of food as well.

I had suasage, egg, bacon beans and chips while Jogblog had a veggie version without the bacon or sausage but with mushrooms and what the menu called "bubble" instead. This I concluded was short for bubble and squeak which is an old stylee dish that my gran used to cook made of cabbage and potato, rather than an ex Big Brother housemate from series two way back in 2001, because obviously if you fried him then his selection of stupid hats would spoil the taste and anyway it wouldn't be veggie then either.

Then we walked back to Jogblog's but an ice cream van went past but we didn't get one. It did play that ruddy annoying tune though, and I really have to wonder what tune ice cream vans played before the 1970s Cornetto advert as that seems to be the only tune that ice cream vans play. It's well boring! Get something different FFS as most kids won't get the association with the ice cream advert anyway. Maybe some death metal or gangsta rap would be better at attracting da yoof to buy an ice cream while the bloke in the ice cream van shouts "Yo MotherF**ker, buy a cornetto or I'll shoot you dahn wiv me AK47 d'ya get me innit?!"

Lardathon Day 26

Wooo - woke up to find that I'd lost a bit more and was now five and a quarter pounds down on the starting weight. A few days being careful with food and exercising regularly has really made a difference!

Did a few bits and bobs in the mornign to help prepare for my physio course and stuff and then headed off to the gym to do an upper body weights session. I felt distinctly wobbly during this. I'd had a bit of a sleepless night with a dodgy tum and now felt very odd. Then back home where gut rot fully set in, so I had a fun afternoon. I had advanced spin with Jackie (on the recommendation of my friend Toni) at 7, and I didn't want to miss that.

Fortunately it seemed to settle down, or at least enough not to have to worry too much. It could have been most embarassing if my bum had suddenly reverted to the state it was in earlier in the day when I was on the spin bike with my backside in the air about 3 feet in front of some other poor spinner's face! Nice image bear ;-)

Anyway - advanced spin is decidedly harder. Without going into too much detail, a lot of it is constructed like an interval session on the treddy, which some of you will know well. Wish I'd had my camera with me as by the end the area around my bike had turned into a miniature duckpond, minus the ducks of course. That's with the class only about a third full, so heavens knows what it would have been like with a full studio.

Friday - and I've lost more weight - another pound and a half, so I'm under 94kgs. That is a suspiciously large amount in one day, although I had expected to lose more in the precedign days, so maybe it's not too bad, although I suspect some of it may be due to th effects of gut rot.

Anyway - off to spin again, not sure my legs have recovered since last night. Hopefully after 60 minutes with Jackie last night, 45 minutes of Indie Becky will be a doddle, but somehow I don't think it will be!

Juneathon Day 25

Right well I had body pump and spin booked for this morning and I'm glad to say I woke up without my ear gurgling away so I thought "yay I'm getting better". The past few days it's been like when you go to the seaside for a day out and someone says "Put that shell to your ear you can hear the sea" and I think "FFS of course you can hear the sea you're standing on a feckin beach". ANyway - it's been making that sound even though I'm nowhere near a beach and I live in South London (even though Jogblog won't admit to this).

Anyway - off to the gym I go and Mel is standing there in reception and asks if I've had three shredded wheat which I haven't but I say yes anyway sa otherwise I'd have to explain about the muesli weighing and being a fitness person she'll think that's weird as I'm sure she realises that finely tuned athletes need more than 51g of muesli.

Then changed and into the class where I set up my step and we get stuck into a compilation of old tracks which is dead good. Anyway there's a woman in front of me with rather thin leggings on and she's quite shapely but even so her leggings are semi-transparent and go even more transparent when stretched over her bum cheeks when she sits back to do a squat which happens quite a lot in the squat track as you might expect, so I get a pretty much full on view of her bum cheeks and her thong. It was quite distracting so I decide to stare everywhere butt but I also want to check my form from front on.

Anyway the track finishes and there's less bum on show and we go through all the tracks including missing one out because it's a 45 minute class for the mums which is a pain and why can't they book the creche for longer. Anyway next week is school hols so most of them won't be there so I won't be the only bloke there. Hopefully Tony will turn up too as he's a good laugh but works shifts.

The back to the changing room where I frantically search for mymobile to wish Jogblog good luck at the agencies but I can't get a signal so she doesn't get a message and I think shall I walk down the road to get one but I have a spin class to get to so I race into the spin studio (i.e. the small dark cupboard-like room in tthe corner)

Anyway there's only two spin bikes free and one has the water bottle holder missing which is a pain so I opt for the other one but it's rather close to the mirror so I look behind me to see if there's room to move but sweaty headbanger woman is there. She's friendly but always seems to get very sweaty and has her hair over her face like a heavy metal fan but I like her approach to work outs. Anyway she moves a bit, we have a laugh and then who gets onto the bike beside me (that had a towel draped over it) but visible thong woman. Fortunately I'm not behind her this time so there's no embarassing incidents on that front (or behind) and we get stuck into anothe grroovy set of choons that Mel has picked for us.

My ruddy resistance wheel is squeakign which is a good reason to avoid that bike in future but I can't change it and embarassingly Mel says "Who's squeaking" and after stoppign to check I realise it's me and then can't get the thing turning again. Damn!

Anyway - then it's off to the sauna where I have a chat with a woman about the water problems and how the water board haven't sent round any notices abut boiling the water and I only know because someone told me to look on a website. Then out of there and the woman from the Atlantis swimming school (Shouldn't it be a man from Atlantis??) asks me if I coudl check the changing room for a girl as she can't go in there so I say yes and go and see the girl with someone who is presumably her dad so I guess it's okay although he could be a paedo which obviously wouldn't be but I go back and give her the thumbs up and then go back into the sauna. I'm not sure this does my ear any good but I enjoy it anyway :-)

2 Months To Go

...Until I start my physio course!! Woo hoo!!

Well - assuming I get the grades I need, which I find out in precisely 23 days from now. Actually, I can find out if I got high enough to get in as soon as midnight hits, via the worldful world of the interweb, but I imagine UCAS may be somewhat busy! Expect a blog post at about 1:37am! Don't actually find out the grade until the morning though, but if I know I'm in by then, the pressure's off.

Anyway, having rested my iffy right knee for a few weeks, I decided to do a run this morning. I went for a route that was longer than I'd been doing - I intended to make it about 5k but this was too fiddly so settled for just over that. The route is shown below.

Not a fantastically fast time - just over 29 minutes (29:19) with an average pace of something like 5:24min/km, but it was more to test my knee out. It seemed fine. I was aware of my right ball of my foot getting pressure on (the osteoarthriticky big toe joint again?) and of my quads not functioning right on hills - don't seem to climb hills as well. Also both ankles were abit funny - that might be the 1120s after lots of kayano running. Who knows? Anyway - it's done and dusted, I feel fine, and even my earache is getting better. It still feels gunky but I'm not so knackered and off balance as I was.

Now I need to sort out what I'm going to do with the next two months. I have a few little projects such as doing the motorbike test, but not enough to keep me occupied, and I do really need to keep occupied otherwise I tend to get bored and fed up!

Lardathon Day 24

Day 24 and I had another night's disturbed sleep thanks to the earache. Fortunately it hasn't got really really achey, but was enough to keep me awake half the night. Anyway - I've been to the doctor's this morning, and got some stuff for it, but I'mm still bushed which isn't a lot of fun. I quite fancy a run - leg seems quite a bit better, but I'm so wobbly from the ear it probably isn't a good idea. I've not got much energy at the moment - whether that's the infection or the lack of sleep I don't know.

Hopefully tonight I'll sleep better as I think the ear is calming down, so maybe by tomorrow I'll be more like 100%, which'll be good - don't like being like this.

Weight is still at 95kgs, which is disappointing given I did two hours of classes yesterday.

Lardathon Weigh In

Three weeks into the lardathon and time to weigh in. I was a bit worried as I diidn't seem to have made much progress,partly due to troughing large quantities of nice food and also that alkyhol stuff! I heven had a medicinal white magnum yesterday - which apparently have less calories than my 51g of muesli although I find that hard to believe!

Anyway -the good news is that I'm down to 95kgs today - so that's 2 kgs lost. Okay - that's still a gain on a few months ago, and about a stone heavier than I was this time last year, but it's heading in the right direction.

The bad news is that I've got an ear infection - which I tend to get quite frequently, for unknown reasons. It could be soemthign to do with the fact that I swim, but then it's always in the same ear, so I think there's something more to it than just that. I've taken some painkillers, which have helped, but will probably try and get soem antibiotics later as I know from past experience it can get very painful if left to develop, to a stage where painkillers don't make any difference.

Didn't get much sleep last night but feel a bit better now - so I'm off to the gym to spin and pump in 20 minutes time after I've wolfed down a Min butty.

UPDATE

Ear was really playign up at the gym and I felt distinctly wobbly a couple of times but kept going.

Spin first - and Becky turned up to a room full of eager spinners. Some new faces in there which was good, but it was the usual sweaty bodies. I was surprised how little my legs ached from yesterday morning. I think maybe it is strengthening my knees and stuff.

Good class - then a change of t-shirt, a re-fill of the drinks bottle and off to pump.

A good class, as expected with Mel, and those Arnie presses absolutely killed me as usual! Fortunatly this time I had remembered to wear a t-shirt that didn't fly up and show my gut when we did overhead stuff.

Then out of there and over to the water fountain to get some more water, only there was a sign on it saying the water was potentially contaminated so it was out of use. "Great", I thought, "I've just downed two bottles full of that, so unless it's only just become contaminated I've probably drunk iffy water". Then into the sauna for a chilled out twenty minutes.

Not feeling great today - very giddy, probably due to the ear infection, and lost my appetite. This might be a good thing as far as Lardathon goes! Been taking it easy all day after the gym, and will get to the doc first thing tomorrow.

Having a bit of a low day for reasons I won't go into here :-(

A Question of Perception

Today was the big day - the day I did my new stylee (well - it's been aroudn for ages, but not when I passed my driving test) theory bit. In my day, you just did the practical and got asked a few highway code questions at the end. That was it, done and dusted, or so I thought, until it came to wanting to get my big bike license, which apart from anything else, lets me take peeps on the back of my scooter and go on motorways, and never have to do CBT again, so even if I don't ever get a big bike it's a good thing.

Anyway - test was at 12:30, planned to set off about 11:30 to allow plenty of time. I was sat at my pooter busily doing practice Highway Code questions and hazard perception tests (HPT). Trouble was it was pishing it down adn there was thunder and lightening. By quarter past elevent I was worried, and I got a phone call from my mum (aren't mums great at times) asking if I'd like to take the car over to Croydon for the test as then I wouldn't start out wet. I do have waterproofs but it was so torrential it was tempting, so I said yes, and she popped round. This did however delay me a bit and of course you can't nip round stuff in a car like you can on a scooter

Anyway - off I set in the car, taking a back route. Then towards the bottom of a hill I saw a car doing a three point turn inn the middle of the road. Grrrr! Then a woman rushes up and says "I'm asking you politely if you coudl turn round please as the house down there is flooded and when cars go past it makes it worse as the water goes in". I looked ahead -there was no obvious surface water so I didn't reallys ee what she was on about, and in any case was late, and if it was flooded already then one car wouldn't make much odds. I said "I'm sorry, but I have an important appointment and I'll miss it if I turn round" (there were now cars backed up for ages and it was essentially a one car width road due to parked cars.

Then she started screamign hysterically at me and sayign "Don't you understand, the man who lives there has cancer!!", which seemed unreasonable - I can't understand that when she hasn't told me, and in any case, I'm not sure how driving past or not is going to have any affect on his cancer. Plus remember that there was no surface water either, so I wasn't going to create a massive tsunami. I wound the window up and she continued to scream hysterically about how I ought to be ashamed of myself and wagged her finger like I was a naughty six year old. I got out of there as quickly as possible, and guess what - no water being pushed towards the house in question, which had sandbags across the drive anyway so it wouldn't have gone into the house regardless.

Not what I needed to relax, but I got parked and went to the test centre with about 12 minutes to spare. There were two reception desks and I went to one but the person there ignored me completely even when I said hello, and I was about to be a bit abrupt when the person on the other desk called me across. He asked if I was there for a motorbike test so I said "No, I'm here for a theory test", and he said "...but a theory test for a motorbike" so I said yes. At this point I didn't realise there were different questions. The there was a long palaver sorting out phones into lockers and stuff and then into the test room. I'd found out by now that there weere different questions, so I was nervous - but figured I may as well have a crack.

The test goes through a long intro routine that's basically explaining how to use a mouse and stuff and then it was into the questions. Straightaway there was a bike specific one that I wasn't sure of, so I eliminated the obviously wrong ones and guessed. I had to do that on about five questions. The others all seemed fine though so I figured I stood a decent chance of passing. Then onto the hazard perception! I was pleased to see that the sample video quality was better than on the practice DVD, plus that the example person doing it was clicking seven or eight times on some clips. I resolved not to worry about clicking too much and clicked on everything that merited it just in case.

I was thirsty by this time but couldn't leave the room which was a shame. It was a horrible, dry, stale room and not conducive to good results. Anyway - I went through, thinking I'd got most of the hazards quickly but based on the practice ones still wondering. At the end I felt I'd done okay, and was hoping the computer would put up a message either saying "Congratulations" or "Better luck next time" but it didn't. I went to the woman outside who told me what to do next, and she didn't have the results either, but she said to get my bits out of the locker and then I can be told. Feck knows why they can't tell you straightaway. Then to the desk where I gave the key back in and he handed me some paper saying "good luck". WTF does that mean? Good luck next time or something?? Then I looked at the paper, and it took a few seconds to locate the word "passed"! I got 31/35 on theory (pass is 30/35) and 60/75 on the HPT, where the pass mark is 44. I think it was my best score ever on the HPT :-)

Lardathon Day 19

Woke up, weighed myself, stable at the two pounds lost. I'm pretty sure it was the leftover banana bread that cost me it today though. I've been eating lots of salads and stuff.

I've also been studying again. I want to take my DAS motorbike test with a view to maybe getting a bigger bike, or at least having the option too, plus it means I won't have to redo the CBT every two years and I can carry a passenger on the back which is fun - plus go on the motorway.

So - today I'm sat in front of the computer, going through the Highway Code on DVD - which is a lot more fun, and doing hazard perception tests. Trouble is it means I won't be able to go and see a favourite blog friend :-(

Anyway - it'll all be over and done with tomorrow - unless I fail of course. I think I'm okay on the Highway Code, but I find the Hazard Perception one very tricky - I don't want to click on every potential hazard, but often I see some, and also I frequently click just too early and so score zero even though I've actually got more awareness of hazards than drivers who score full marks! I'm told the ones on the test are more clear cut, so fingers crossed it's nit an issue.

After that - I book the training course. Five days - so good to get in before going to St George's. I've also potentially got my knee op coming up - just wqaiting to hear from them, which'll put me out of runnign for a bit and also might feck up the bike course as I don't imagine the knee'll be up to taking the weight of a big bike

I Wet My Pants :-(

Woke up today having recovered from yesterday's hangover and headed to the gym - woo! Was chuffed to see that I was back to having lost two pounds on Lardathon, despite Jogblog's attempt to sabotage it again by giving me an extra gram of muesli for breakfast yesterday ;-)

Anyway - Bodypump first, which was great, only it's a 45 minute class for all the mums who leave their kids in the creche - why can't they leave them for an hour FFS so we can have a full class. Then onto spin, which was with Mel as well, who is a dead good instructor. Not only does she know her stuff, but she's also motivational. She manages to sound dead strict so that when she says "Don't touch that dial" at the end of one track you really don't dare, but without ever being nasty about it! It's more like you don't want to let her down and stuff. Odd really, but it makes for some sweaty classes! Never seen so many sweaty women in one room!

Mel usually mixes the music up a bit, but today she pulled out the "Hard Rock Spin" CD from her CD case. She's used this before and I loved it, especially a jump track to AC/DC's "Whole Lotta Rosie". It rocked in every sense of the word, and I hope she didn't notice my air guitar as I had the towel draped oevr the handlebars.

Problem with all that sweating though is that my undercrackers get soaked, which is no problem really, except that I forgot to pack my usual change of underwear today, so I either had to come home in soggy knickers or go commando, which is what I opted for!

Catch Up

Trailwalker had its effect on my weight - I ended up polishing off the leftover eats and yesterday morning was back to my starting weight of 97kgs. Not great anyway, but I'd done a session of spin and Body Pump Sunday morning, and I had an evening with JogBlog lined up!

Jogblog and I met up in town, funnily enough in a pub! We then necked a couple of pints and headed off to a vegan Chinese all you can eat buffer. You can see where this is going can't you? Tons of food! Several platefuls later (not quite sure about some of the mock meat) we left and headed towards the venue.

It was a charidee night for Paul Fox of The Ruts. The name might escape you but you probably remember the main hit single "Babylon's Burning" which for me was one of the best songs to come out of the era. The list was like punk royalty (okay - no Sex Pistols or Clash) but we had the UK Subs, The Damned, Splodgenessabounds (Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps - please!). I think the bar staff probably got bored of people saying that to them by the end of the night!

Several other peeps too, including a lot of reggae type peeps (who were they?) and a black woman - didn't get to hear her name. Could it possibly have been Polly Styrene from X-Ray Spex? Jogblog and I went outside to chat a bit as well, which was great.

Anyway - then The Ruts appeared, with Henry Rollins (from the early 90s - not entirely sure what his connection was) as lead singer. He was excellent, and full of energy. Then the evening climaxed with the big hit single, although they had plenty of great tunes. The audience, generally in their forties plus, but still with some vestige of punk clothing and in one case an 18 inch spikey hair cut, were bouncing up and down and throwing glasses of beer like crazy. All in all a great night :-)

Then back to Jogblog's for a sleep and then brekkie. She was most generous this morning and allowed me an extra 1g of muesli, so I got 51g. How generous is that? It did all seem rather futile given how much I'd eaten (and drunk) the night before though!

I have my driving test theory exam on Friday so I need to get down to studying the Highway Code and Hazard Perception, and also deciding if my leg will stand up to running a 10k Thursday evening!

Lips of an Angel...

New body pump just launched - OMG I love the cool down track:



Not the original video but the CGI is amazing!

Maybe I'm just feeling a bit loved up at the moment ;-)

Trailwalker 2007

In 2002 a seed was sown. Numerous people I knew decided that rather than just do marathons, they’d try and walk 100 kilometres across the south downs of England to raise money for charity. I was asked if I’d do it. My response was less than polite! Anyway – rather than be subject to continuous pressure to participate, I hatched a cunning plan – I decided to agree to support a team. Basically this involves following the group of four walkers along the route, meeting them at various checkpoints (CPs) along the route, and providing them with food, drink, and a psychological slap round the head with a wet kipper, or whatever we felt it needed. Oh – and best of all, no walking. It was a genius plan to avoid being arm-twisted into walking. Because I don't walk. Ever. Okay??

Anyway – for one reason or another, which has been lost in the mists of time, I didn’t support them in their endeavours the following year, although Heather (Josie Jump on the RW forums) did. We had several teams, and due to appalling weather conditions, only one team finished – leaving Vrap, Evil Pixie, Helen Wheels, Slowboy, Running Duck and a few others having been beaten by TW.

In 2004 Vrap and Helen got revenge, with Heather and I crewing. I was hooked! For some reason staying up through the night and hugging sweaty people in a field gave me a massive buzz. I did wonder whether this was some form of weird ultramarathon rave or something, and kept expecting the gurkhas (who run the event) to offer me an E. Anyway – I was back the next year, with Josie and another successful team, including HeebieJeebie, and another great time – this time even faster. I loved it again, but it is ultimately fairly stressful in terms of leaving you knocked flat for a few days due to lack of sleep. I had resolved not to do it in 2006, but Pixie had decided she wanted to “slay the dragon” as she put it of her aborted attempt in 2003, so she needed a support crew. Pix is a good mate so there was no way I was going to not do it and while the other guys are great peeps, I had to be there for Pix, plus I think you do gain a lot of experience which the others didn't have.

This time RobW and Fraggle joined me, and we got her, El Bee, Vrap and Running Duck through the finish in just over 25 hours. That was it – while the buzz from the day was great, I was retiring from TW support.

Or so I thought! The walkers had been talking about how sections could be run, and they reckoned a fifteen hour time was possible. This led to looking at the results for 2006, and seeing that a fifteen hour time would have won the mixed team prize. So – a challenge was there, and that’s guaranteed to get me wanting to have a go. In the post-TW haze of TW06, in Rob’s back garden, we decided to have a shot for a sub-15 time.

So – Rob and I would do support, joined by Josie Jump. Heebs was to join the walkers, and Slowboy was going to have a crack to get revenge for 2003. They trained their socks off. Support, meanwhile, were less energetic, and due to exams and stuff I didn’t play as active a role as usual in helping plan it, but I knew the others would know what to do and we were well prepared.

Anyway – at a pre-arranged date in a field in Sussex, we came together on July 13th (Friday). We sat around chatting the usual small talk and daft jokes that permeate these sort of occasions, and fed our faces on pasta and Italian bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Supporters have to carb load too! I also received updates from Jogblog re what was going on on Big Brother, for which I’m very grateful J. People kept asking who was texting me – well – it was Cathy!

Then an early night. I was sharing with Josie, which as she described was her annual “night spent sleeping with another man”. This rather unnerved me the first time she said it, as although Josie (Heather) is a fab person, she’s married and I have no intention of getting into that sort of thing! Anyway - we were only sharing a tent, and she let me get into the tent and stripped down and into my sleeping bag first. She did however ask “Are you alright in there, there seems to be a lot of huffing and puffing?”, which of course echoed round the campsite. Various other phrases permeated the humid night air, such as “crikey – it’s very sticky tonight” (the air), and “I’m really looking forward to getting it erect” (the gazebo Josie had brought with her). Every time we unwittingly said a double entendre, we burst into fits of laughter, particularly because half the campsite probably heard the comments!

Anyway – morning came earlier than usual (4:30) and I stuck my head out of the tent to see Leon (El Bee) doing the same in his neighbouring tent, resembling a tortoise. We were quickly up and set about preparing brekkie for the walkers, which was porridge. Before we knew it, 6am (the start) was approaching and we dispatched them to the start and began getting kit into the two cars. We normally use one car but with no time to dump camping gear at Rob’s nearby house, we needed two, and since both Rob and Heather have driven the route before, I was less concerned than at the idea last year when neither driver knew the route.

6am, and they all set off, with our team, “Feed Me”, near the front (apart from the gurkha teams, who go off at a cracking pace. We continued to pack up, and before long I thought we ought to head off to CP2 to meet the team. I must admit I misjudged the timing and left Josie to do more tidying up, but like a trooper she said yes to it without a question. Rob and I were covering at CP2, while Heather went to get some shopping bits and was to meet us at CP4. We’d decided that covering every CP wasn’t necessary.

Anyway – the team rolled in, with two mixed teams in front of them. Rob and I kept quite about this, and amazingly, no-one asked! Our guys looked fantastic, really up and not a hint of anything but freshness. We plied them with flapjack, banana bread and coffee, and sent them off on a five minute turn-around. The stop is an interesting tactic – how much time do you allow? The lead mixed team gave their team doggy bags containing jelly beans etc, while we actually had a stop, thereby costing five minutes. Then again – how much psychologically is gained from the stop? The Gurkhas have another tactic – they borrow a formula one pit crew for the day – the walkers lie on their backs, while one person hands them a sarnie or whatever and a separate support crew member attends to changing shoes and socks. I know that sound like I’m being over the top for humour purposes, but it really does happen. Okay – they’re not a formula one pit crew, but I suspect they spend time drilling sock changes and thingsThey also have a separate couple of team-mates running with them to carry kit and presumably with water etc.

Then we packed up the kit – tables, camping chairs, etc, and headed for CP4. We got a text from Heather asking if there was a supermarket in Arundel. Rob is blessed with a knowledge of every shop in Sussex (seemingly) but he wasn’t sure on this one, so I suggested asking a native. Anyway – it all worked out, as Heather turned up complete with extra provisions, and we set about getting out kit set up.
At CP2 we got the car positioned so we were next to the waling route – it’s important to do this for a fast time as otherwise the walkers have to walk extra distance. Sometimes just the organisation of CPs makes this impossible, so at CP4 we ferried the kit to a point on the walk route. We use a crate system, whereby each walker has their own crate (or bag) and we can just grab a crate quickly and locate their kit within seconds. This is easier than lots of separate containers that quickly get mixed up in the boot of a car. We also had chairs, table, food and camping equipment, so it took the three of us several trips. Snoop and Tiger turned up to run with the guys, and before long the walkers were there.

Here we had a dilemma – the previous night we’d had a conversation where the walkers had asked for cheese butties and Leon had said he fancied jam in his. Now – did Leon mean he wanted jam butties, or did he mean he wanted cheese and jam? The others thought this was an absolutely crazy idea, but as a long time lover of cheese and marmalade, I believed that this was a possibility. We made an executive decision, and opted to do cheese butties and jam butties, and to do a speedy cheddar changeover (tm Bear) if Leon wanted both flavourings in his rolls. Which it turns out he did – although I’m not sure he had raspberry in mind! I did actually try a bit and as it happens, it works!

Before we had time to draw breath, the walkers appeared. I keep using the phrase walkers, but actually they were jogging the flats and downhills. We did another speedy pit stop (although not gurkha speed) and they went off with the two pacers. We carted the kit back to the car and set off for CP6. The walkers were well ahead of the 9 min/km pace they needed to do sub-15, being at around 8 min/km. All was looking good. However it’s a hard one to judge – the terrain varies greatly so the end which is a bit hilly can slow you dramatically, particularly when tired.

CP6 – and we got Heather’s gazebo (or gazzbo) set up. We prepped all we could, including a flask of coffee, as the ten minutes notice we often got that they were about to arrive isn’t enough to do stuff from scratch always, even though you do learn tricks like getting pre-boiled water from the gurkhas and just keeping that hot on the camping stove. Such is the benefit of experience of a good TW support crew.

At this point (there’s a long section) we actually managed to chill for 30 minutes, and had some scrambled egg on toast. Then a call came in for sugary tea! Feck! We hadn’t got tea bags! (The walkers don’t know this). We raided the gurkha tent (you can get tea anyway so it was no problem) and made up cups. How many sugars? We didn’t know, so in the interest of speed put one in each (you can’t have sugary tea without sugar right?) and had more on standby.

In pitched the walkers, keeping to the steady 8 minute mile speed. By this point we also had nuts and Pringles available, although somehow the support crew managed to devour half a tube before the walkers arrived. Anyway – we fed and watered them, Allison attended to her blisters, and then some peeps from TW turned up to interview our guys for the promotional video they do. In a way this was a nuisance, as it took up about ten minutes, but we were all buzzing from the event, and were happy to do it. If it helps raise money for Oxfam etc etc. Just as we were ready to go, someone asked if their walker (who had lost his team) could join ours, and we agreed on the strict understanding that we were going at our pace and it was up to him to keep up as we had a schedule. He agreed, and then wandered off and took at least three minutes (Ahem!) putting on his camelbak! Anyway – we were still well ahead of schedule so no probs.

Off now to CP8. This is on the side of a hill by two windmills called Jack and Jill. By this point I had switched to Heather’s car to navigate, as she hadn’t seen the CP before (it’s been moved since Heather last did TW two years ago), and Rob had his SatNav. We started a joke about me being Heather’s Satnav! Anyway – I got her there, and we carried the crates across to the edge of the field where the walkers come in. We eyed the gurkha coffee tent and Rob suggested soup. It smelt good so I went for it, and it was. I was unsure what it was, so asked a gurkha. “It smells of vegetables”, he replied, which isn’t really an answer but it tasted of vegetables too, so I’m hopeful!

The walkers arrived – slowed slightly by the inclines, and had decided they needed a 10 minute break. We did the usual routine, making particularly sure as Allison and Stuart looked a bit weaker than usual (still very good) to make sure they ate plenty of sugary stuff. Then back out the gate and off to CP9. We’d decided to do this one as CP10 is inaccessible to cars. This meant quite a rush! We packed up the cars and headed off. It didn’t take long, we got the kit out for the final time. All went smoothly, and the team still had 1:45 to do the remaining 11 kilometres to get sub 15. All looked good! We confidently set off, heading for the finish at Brighton race course. I was buzzing by this point and got over-excited by the Amazing Maize Maze, which is where they cut a maze in a field of maize. I was just about to say “What a corny pun” to Heather when I missed our turn off, and had to drive on another mile or so to find a place to turn. Heather jokingly moaned about how crap her SatNav was compared to Rob’s, but we got back on track to some comments of “Do a U turn as soon as possible” in SatNav voice. Alll went smoothly after that, and we decided to stop at an offy en route to grab a bottle of champers. Heather popped in while I texted Rob to tell him there was no need to get one. Who should Heather bump into in there though? Rob! Anyway – they didn’t have any (decent) fizzy pop so we opted for beer instead. Then to the finish.

We got the crates out ready to take to the finish line. This isn’t normally a job we need to do, but it was gone 8pm and the weather was closing in, so we thought warm clothes were essential. We then set the cars up ready for home, as inevitably stuff had been swapped about between boots. Then off to the finish to watch the sky line for our team.

As we got there, the clock for our start time showed about 14:10 – we had 50 minutes to finish in. We didn’t expect a problem, as we had loads of time and were well ahead of schedule all the way through. However – we had noticed the teams who had reached the CPs ahead of use and were aware roughly of who to expect when, barring sudden changes or injuries. A lot of the teams who had been close had not come in - it seems that a lot of teams were finding this section tough. Then – with about 15 minutes to go, we thought we saw a team that had been 5 or 6 minutes in front of ours appear on the horizon. This was great, but there was still a mile or so to go, so even if we caught them it was going to be touch and go. Five minutes later, our guys appeared, and Rob and I set off up the track to meet them. We cheered the team in front of us, and saw them just scrape under the fifteen hours by a couple of minutes. Could our guys do it?

The racecourse is nicely marked our with furlong poles, with our finish lane at 1 furlong. There are 8 furlongs in a mile, so each is 220 yards or 200m. As we reached out guys they had 3 furlongs to do and about 1 minute to do it in. I realised then that we were going to have to be content with just over 15 hours, and jogged back to the finish line with our team who amazingly managed a cracking pace given they’d run very nearly 100km.

We peeled off to the side so as not to get in the pictures, but due to the angle of the cameraman I don’t think we managed it! Anyway –they crossed the line in 15:03 – agonisingly close to the target. I was frustrated, then suddenly thought – “wow – that was a great time anyway, does it really matter?”. Everyone was up, including me, and we sat them down at a bench we’d bagsied.

At this point Stuart felt wobbly, so we sat him down on the grass, covered him with any spare clothing, and generally took care of him. He quickly recovered, and we headed off for a gurkha curry that went down a treat!

Then home, reflecting on a great day. While we'd come third in the mixed team event, our time would have won the event last year. More than anything though, we were proud as we could possibly be with our team :-)

More to come later!!

Lardathon Days 11-13

Day 11 saw me start the day at Jogblog's with a very small portion of cereal. As in 50g worth. She watched as I weighed it out on her digital scales FFS. Do you know how small that portion is? And then that, apparently, is 267 calories! For a portion of cereal the size of an egg cup that wouldn't even fuel the activities of a gerbil, let alone a big hungry bear. Humph!

It's even worse than that - I've since found out that her blog contains the phrase "shitloads of beer" - AGAIN! Yet I have to stick to a miniscule portion of cereal.

Anyway - not to be bitter, I drink coffee, blog about Ikea, and head home, and book a couple of classes. Didn't get a lot done for the rest of the day, but did eat healthily.

Thursday - started the day with body pump, which was good, and I felt very virtuous very early in the day. Managed to eat healthily too, but then I started baking for the Trailwalker. This is an event I help out at every year (this is the fourth) where we act as support crew for a bunch of nutters who are walking 100km for Oxfam to raise money for Africa. The good thing about supporting is you don't have to walk, so it's well worth doing from that point of view :-)

Anyway - the banan bread goes fecked up as I try to take it out of the tin a bit early, and it sticks, meaning I have to lever out chunks that are stuck in the tin. There's no real way of disguising this, so I sample a few pieces along the way with the idea of saying "Oh, I couldn't get those out of the tin so didn't bother".

Friday morning - and the weight's up to just a pouind less than when I started, which is irritating, but still better than Jogblog!! Then it's off to the gym for spin with Indie Becky, who does a great spin class, and it's very humid in the spin studio and we've steamed up the mirrors by track four. Anyway - feeling virtuous again, I head home to cook a second banana bread (. Then a mad paddy to get the kit ready and find all the bits and bobs that don't normally see the light of year between trailwalkers!

And that's it - will be heading off in 45 mins for a weekend of very little sleep, mad panics, laughs, and camaraderie. For the first time I have doubts about the TW crew - mainly beacuse this year we're goign for a sub 15 hour time which would win it the last three years for a mixed team. They've done the trainign to do it but it puts on more pressure and who knows what could happen on the South Downs wher ehe paths aren't that even. I'mm sure we'll have fun though, and with any luck be drinking beer by 9pm tomorrow night :-) Feck knows what will happen to my weight as it's always survive on snacks and odds and sods. Last year we had curry for brekkie on the Sunday at the finish!

Lardathon Day 10

Weight up a whisker, just normal fluctuations I think. The "shitload of beer" (c) Jogblog I had Sunday probably didn't help either. Still - not bad going.

Must admit I was a lardarse on July 10th. I spent the morning in Ikea, looking for a splashback for my cooker. All these modern cookers without the twiddly knobs at the back have a drawback - you get fat spitting all over the wall which is well annoying. So off to Ikea - not the Edmonton one where people get crushed to death, but the Croydon one, where they still have two chimneys rising like huge phalluses that are left over from the power station.

Incidentally, a Swedish friend tells me that Ikea is actually pronounced "Ick-ear", so all these lesbians wandering around with t-shirts saying D-Ikea (as in Dykier) actually have "D-ickier" on their fronts, which is ironic, and in the true sense of the word rather than the Alanis Morisette version that isn't really ironic. Although having said that, there's something ironic about a song called ironic getting the meaning of the word ironic wrong, in a meta-ironic way. Wooooo!!

Anyway - back to Ickier. They've changed the car park for some reason which makes it even harder to get into, but once inside they've changed the layout as well. I hadn't intended to get a new dining room table, even though I am a tad dis-satisfied with mine, but see a rather nice modern looking one that reminds me of one my great-aunt had that was Victorian and I loved 'cos it had clever slidey bits. They probably think it's a new invention but I know better!

Anyway - there was a sale on and the place was crawling with families with kids, which was annoying - why can't they stick them in the ball room eh? No announcements of "Can Mrs Bloggs come to the ball room please as your child is asking for you" over the tannoy, which roughly translated means "FFS Mrs Bloggs get here is quickly as possible, your scabby brat is screaming her head off and getting on our tits".

Anyway, I finally reach the splashbacks, and they're well cheap, and they've got glass and stainless steel, only I don't like the stainless steel ones as much but the glass ones aren't available in the right size. So I head off to magnet, where the sales person doesn't seem to want to sell me anything and just sits on his arse at the desk and can't even be bothered to move towards me when I ask a question to the extent where I nearly tell him to get off his arse. When he finally shifts his lazy carcass he tells me that their splashbacks are £149 (as compared to £12 in Ickier), so I ask about tiling, and he says that's even more expensive. I ask what's so special about their tiles as they'd cost about a tenner in B&Q and he says he can't answer that, so I tell him he's not much of a salesman as there's no way I'm spending fifteen times as much without good reason! He says I should go to the trade section round the back, which seems odd since I'm not trade, but I go and find some people busy on the phone which is annoying but more down to earth and helpful. They do have some glass splashbacks for £86, but we opt for tiling.

I ask how hard it is to tile as I've never tiled before, and he seems to find this uproariously funny. I have apparently "made his day". I was on the verge of saying "well I bet you can't program computers in about 20 different languages and write the faster 10 pixel 3D vector algorithm in the world on a SIMD processor that you helped design like I can", but somehow I suspect that would be lost on him. He was overall helpful though, so I join in the laughter at my own ineptitude at doing "man things" (well - this one at least, I'm quite good at others).

Anyway - after all this faffing, it's nearly time to head up to Jogblog's, where she's cooking me a gourmet meal. Loads of vegetables (well I guess you'd expect that from a veggie), and I even had to bring my own sweetcorn and pak choi. I'd never eaten pak choi before, and asking in Morrision's I thought maybe it was a deliberate wind up, but they pointed me to a green thing that looked vaguely like a leek. Then on the bike through the maze of London traffic towards Walthamstow.

The worst bit was the advanced boxes for cyclists. Those of you who run will know the annoyance of wanting to go fast but having slow running race for life stylee runners sit at the front and get in your way. Well that's basically what these boxes do. The cyclists go at the front, motor vehicles have to weave their way through them and overtake, and then at the next red light, the cyclists catch up and the whole sorry performance repeats itself. I do in all seriousness wonder if they're actually more dangerous.

Anyway - to Walthamstow and Jogblog, who accepts the vegetable offerings and sets about adding them to the delicious smelling concoctions that are in her woks. I resist alkyhol for half an hour and then crumble with a glass of wine with the food, which is top nosh and I very much enjoy. Then the treat of the night - banoffee pie. If you haven't try it then you really should - it has bananas in it so must be very healthy. Well - if you don't eat the 5000 calories of toffee and cream on top of the bananas that is! I am convinced Jogblog is trying to sabotage my Lardathon plans, but not wanting to be rude, I reluctantly accept a second slice.

Anyway - next morning, and my head is feeling a lot better than normal, and somehow I have agreed to take home half of the remaining banoffee pie that my gorgeous hostess has bestowed upon me!

Erm - I think I had better exercise!

Lardathon Days 8 and 9

At the one week mark, my weight was down to 95.9kgs, so 1.1kgs lost in the first week, or 2.4 pounds in old money. Then I headed across town to see JogBlog run and for a post-race pint.

Unfortunately the post-race pint turned into a post-race gallon or so, so I suspect I may have put on weight :-(. We'll see tomorrow morning. Feeling decidedly fragile now and have resolved to cut back on the beer but not sure I'll stick to it!

Banoffee pie is on the menu for tomorrow night which I rather think i@m going to enjoy, even at 6 million calories per crumb!

What's happened to the title thingy on Blogger??

Today started well as I'd lost another bit of weight, down into the 95 point somethings. I was so happy I booked a spin class for 9am, and then realised that barely left any time to bolt my brekkie before heading off to the gym. I dashed into the class, only to find several familiar spin class regulars but no instructor.

Apparently her tyres had been slashed, but I've tried to do that class three times and every time she hasn't turned up, and from what the others said it's quite a regular occurrence, so we had a bit of a moan. Some of the other instructors produced CDs, and we did our own thing, but it's not the same.

Someone arriving for the next class (one that's night on impossible to get a spot in) turned up and had a grump at us for being in there, then wanted us to get out when the class was due to finish at 9:45. Given the next class isn't due to start until 10, this seemed a tad unnecessary, but she got very grumpy so we basically told her to sod off! It wasn't like we were messing up her class, and it doesn't take more than two minutes to sort out a spin bike.

Off to watch Jogblog do a five mile run tomorrow, just hope she remembers to run it all and not faff about taking pictures all the way round ;-) That counts as my exercise for the day, so we're retiring to the pub for lunch and a beer :-)

More of Lardathon Day 6

Spun my socks off in spin class, it was Indie Becky today and she started off with Classical Gas, only it wasn't Mason Williams' version, it was (as I later found out) Vanessa Mae. Shame we didn't have a video wall, as she is a lot better to watch than a hairy old late sixties guitarist, or indeed Nigel Kennedt. Monster! ANyway - couldn't resist getting my guitar out for a quick pluck. I'm wishing I could grow my nails back on my right hand but I need them short for massage and stuff :-)

Lunch was an egg and cheese salad, so sort of good, only it was cheese, and then I had quorn burgers with stir fried veg which was good. Fingers crossed I'll have dropped some more weight by tomorrow.

Lardathon Day 6

Blimey - I was right!

In spite of copious beerage, a doubel cheeseburger, and choklit, today I am down to my lightest weight on the Lardathon so far :-) Just over two pounds lost, and in an hour I'm off to the gym for a spin class.

Trouble is, by the logix that beer and burgers makes you lose weight, I will probably gain a pound doing spin ;-)

Lardathon Days 4 and 5

Day 4 was okay - Min butty for breakfast, some noodly thing for lunch, and then some noodles in the evening too with Jogblog.

Only problem was the 8 or so pints of beer that we had as well! Still - she seems to have got away with it on the scales so maybe I will do too! I did do a body pump class in the morning though

No exercise today (day 5) but I ate reasonably healthily. Muesli for brekkie (a miniscule portion), and then a double cheeseburger for lunch. Okay, that doesn't sound good, but I was in town and it was all that I had, and it's only 421 calories according to the website for the well known Burger Chain.

Had a cous cous stir fry this evening which was very tasty :-)

I also had a choklit that someone kindly posted to me - which obviously doesn't contain any calories as it was free :-)

Spin class first thing tomorrow morning. Didn't weight myself this morning but I'm hopeful for an improvement after bouncing back to my starting point yesterday morning :-(

Lardathon Day 3

Not much to report on the exercise front - all feeble excuses I know but it was raining and I was a bit busy trying to sort out some financial stuff.

I also have an LBC (Lard Based Confession)

I had another sausage butty for brekkie, although my other two meals were healthier - the remains of Saturday's food re-heated (well - some of it anyway) and then a chicken noodle thing this evening.

I suspect coach Jogblog will not be pleased with me :-(

Lardathon Day 2

Lardathon Day two started well - I've lost 0.4kgs. Can't think why as I spent the first half of the previous day in bed and then had a pub lunch and more lager. Odd, but I'm not complaining - must have more days like that I guess as they are obviously very effective :-)

Today I had:

Brekkie: sausage and egg butty
Lunch: pork chop with spuds
evening: leftover soup and bread

Exercise-wise, I did a pilates class for the first time in ages, and boy did my tum feel it! Then straight into Body Pump which apparently is a girls' class but there were quite a few men in there. Great to do it again and I now nicely ache in my shoulders as well as around my tum!

Lardathon Day 1

Spent last night having a fabulous evening with a close friend, where we ate rather a lot. This meant that on Lardathon Day 1, my weight was 97.0kgs, which means it's gone up a bit which is worrying. Still - lardathon is here to stop that trend and see the lard flying off me like hot fat off a joint of meat in a kebab shop window where the speed has been turned up too high.

Anyway - brekkie was a bowl of cereal with semi-skimmed milk - I thought it was good but my esteemed colleague told me it was a "mountain of cereal".

Lunch was at a local hostelry, we wanted to go and laugh at smokers. It was only fair that we had beer, and ordered some food as well. I had scampi and chips fresh sea produce and potatoes which must surely be very healthy. No mayonaisse for me of course!

This evening I had some ham and poached eggs with a few potato bits that were grilled. Not sure what the weight will do - I suspect it will come down because I felt as bloated as a bloated thing this morning from last night's drinking to excess delicious gourmet meal.